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Boyfriends Porn

Submitted by jo on Tue, 27/03/2007 - 18:11. Internet Porn Addiction

Hi, Really hope someone reads and replies to this as im not sure what to do.
Basicly iv been with my bloke 3 years, when i met him he told me he had porn, i was not at all happy about this and told him in no uncertain terms several times. I remember it coming up in conversation about a year later when he told me he had not used it since meeting me. Fair enough all forgot about.
A couple of months ago we moved in together after talking about doing it for over a year. I went snooping on his computor and guess what a whole folder jam packed full of porn! I have been very upsett since finding this and feel similar to what other people on hear have been saying. Whats wrong with me? Why does he need this when he has me? etc etc.
The problem i have is that i dont think he will give it up, he has lied to me about it before and has obviously put it all on computer to stop me finding it. Also if i tell him how i feel he will know i have been checking up on him (with good reason) I dont see how i can carry on knowing it is there and he must look at it when im out, but i love him very much.

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Is it impacting your sexual relationship?

Submitted by Mature Man on Wed, 28/03/2007 - 19:09.

I think that would be my question.

If you and he seem to enjoy sex together, anyway, who cares if he also enjoys looking at porn? If he seems less interested in YOU, or seems unable to "function" because of it, then, yes, there may be a problem.

My two cents.

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Yes it does impact our sex lifes

Submitted by jo on Mon, 16/04/2007 - 17:01.

Looking back i can see its been getting worse over time as he became more comfortable with me. Im no prude and we have a very interesting sex life with all sorts of 'props' (for want of a better word). Now it seams he is incapable of having normal loving sex like 2 regular people i have been complaining about this in a joking way for 2 or 3 months and he is starting to listen. It is obvious to me that he is just copying what he has been watching. Much of what he has is, in my eyes sick! ie lots of violence, even a girl having her head held down a toliet while a bloke does it from behind, a knife being used to draw blood between a girls legs. You get the picture.
I cant help it i just dont like it and the more i think about it the more cross i get.
Anyway thanks for replying any more thourghts appreciated.

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so whats the big problem?

Submitted by soundisblind on Sun, 01/04/2007 - 02:59.

your partner isnt a criminal, hes not doing anything that any other bloke doesnt do (apart from several extremely straight laced or religious guys)...

when youre out and about in public, or out in the evening, do you think he doesnt look at other women then? is this not the same thing... why would he look at anyone else if he has me?
the reason for this is, he can love you, but hes only human, and you are never going to be the only female hes attracted to. as im pretty sure he is not going to be the only man you find attractive.

whats more important is that hes faithful to you, and hes not physically sleeping with other women.

i think trying to deny your partner looking at porn is probably going to make him "worse". why dont you take heed of the type of thing he looks at and incorporate it into your own sex life with him, it might actually make you happier.

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whats the problem?

Submitted by jo on Tue, 17/04/2007 - 14:00.

Firstly he lied to me about it, i still have no idea how much he watches it. I am dissgusted by what he is has, to me it is just voilent and abusive to the women on there. I would be horrified if my daughter or anyone i knew were treated in such a way, so there is no chance at all of us both enjoying it together.
Surely the point is if i were doing somthing that upset him so much i would stop as i would not want to hurt him so why is this any different? Not all men do it, i have had 2 long term relationships before, 1 man being ex-forces and the other a trucker, they didnt have any porn or feel the need to have any.
The fact that he is faithfull to me is of no difference, because i see it that being faithfull is something to be expected not something i should be glad of that he is, as i am sure he see's it the same.
I dont know what to think, but thanks for your comment.

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i hope its not too late

Submitted by ona on Thu, 14/02/2008 - 19:08.

...as i see that you posted this quite a while ago.
hopefully this mssg will make its way to you somehow.
poor girl, Im feeling your pain.
Porn is an epidemic. We have to treat it as one. The only way for this to stop is for all women to just say "fuck you" to the men in their lives who chose porn over them. Seriously.
As for you.....well, even if nothing else was wrong about what he does, just the fact that he is looking at things so violent and disrespectful towards women- I dont care if he's a saint- eventually, if not now, that horror will find its way to you.
No woman in her right mind should be fucking a man who jerks off to the idea of cutting a girl/shoving her face in a toilet while fucking her. If only we lived in a fair and just world, such a man would be beaten stupid and thrown into jail.
Get rid of him before he hurts you a LOT worse.
good luck

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