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Beta-blockers, depression and a complete loss of libido
Hello
I am a 28-year old woman with a real problem. I met Alan, my boyfriend, a year ago. We felt in love with each other but from the start our relationship was difficult. Alan was in a relationship with a woman, Gemma, for over a decade. This woman had been raped by her brother in her teens and her family decided to supress it instead of taking action. They just went on as if nothing had happened. Gemma was very spoilt during her youth, probably to "compensate" what had happened. After years in their relationship, she told Alan about it. For him it was horrible news, especially because he had built up a strong relationship with her parents and as well as with her brother, with whom she seems to be very affectionate with on the outside.
I believe that the rape has damaged her badly, because Alan always said she had a bizarre sexual behaviour. She betrayed him several times during their relationship and finally walked away from him. When I met him, it was 18 months afterwards and I was the first woman he decided to date after Gemma. This relationship has left him broken mentally; she was also pregnant 3 times and had 3 miscarriages.
He told me this story very early in our relationship, so I knew more or less what was going on. Three months before we met he also had a car accident and was also badly doing with his health (diabetes, problem with his blood, high blood pressure).
After a few months where I had realized that he was doing badly healthwise (I always thought he'd have a heart attack while climaxing!)I took him to see my doctor. That is were it went downhill. The meds, and probably as well all the bad experience he had before, made him depressed. He lost his libido as well and is not able to sleep with me any more. The last time we slept with each other was 6 months ago. I think this situation is so stressful for him that at the moment he refuses to talk to me and see me. He asked me to give him time and space, and he says that I needs me to leave me alone.
I must say I don't cope too badly with it. I told him I will wait, and that not sleeping with him is fine; I just want him to get the right treatment and become well again. I really want to support him and be there for him, but at the moment he has completely rejected me. Also, he didnt admit to his doctor that he is suffering of impotence, which worries me for the sake of his health.
We went through many bad things together because of his past. I will not walk away from him, even this situation is also difficult for me. But I am worried for his mental health as well for his physical health.
What shall I do?
