My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, I am in my late twenties and he is in his mid thirties. We are very happy and I naturally have had feelings that I want us to make a stronger committment, first with cohabitation, to further determine if we will be compatible for marriage. I love him and I would marry him now, but since we have not lived together and he has some fears about the next level of intimacy I would happily live with him first to determine that this is the right step for us to take. But despite previous discussions we have had about what we want in life, he suddenly is very afraid of my desires and of me, and insists he cannot give me the things he says I want. Will I be happy with him if I sacrifice what I want? I want nothing more than to be with him and I can't see leaving him as satisfying me, but at the same time if I stay with him I will continue to feel unsatisfied and want more. I want to move forward with my life.

I realize that I am rambling and not directly asking a question, I guess the question I want to ask is how do I pull myself away from him and pursue the things I want in my life (marriage, committment, a deeper committment than he is willing to give) when I cannot imagine myself wanting to be with anyone but him? Am I being too demanding and selfish and not considering his feelings, or is he unreasonable to deny what I am asking? I don't want to 'waste' years of my life in a serious relationship with someone who will never marry me and live with me, but I don't want to walk away from the love of my life because I was impatient and self centered.

It is torture, because I have a hard time now enjoying our time together when I am constantly plagued with doubt about what I should do.