I want to use prescription drugs to reduce my libido

Sex Problems for Men

Hi I am 32 and have only been in two relationships. Ive been in my current relationship almost 3 years and in a previous relationship for 9 years, and have had the same experience in both relationships. I understand that after a while the "honeymoon" period in a relationship ends and things taper off in the bedroom. but this is rediculous with my current partner the only time she wants to have intercourse is a couple of days before her period (hormonal I guess), and even though her period is regular (every month) the urge for intercoures isn't we can go 3 months without. I have high libido and we have spoken about this on a number of occasions but to no avail.
Now to where Im heading, I have heard of a few drugs that reduce libido, one in particular is called Androcur. I have looked into it on line and read many forums and Drug web sites, there are humdreds of listed side effects, from headaches to liver failure and even death, I am willing to take this risk. I have also read that before a doctor can prescribe this drug they must contact the National Health service and claim that the drug is being supplied to " Reduce sex drive in a sexual deviant male" Do you know if this is true? I have not discussed this with my doctor yet.
I have considered leaving her but what will that achieve I would only be adding loneliness to the mix? it appears I have the problem, this is my second relationship with this issue and from all the info I have read on the net it seams a very very very common issue in relationships. I am constantly frustrated & very unhappy, I am even considering lying to my doctor and telling him I fantasise about little children just so I can get the drug. Can you offer any suggestions on alternative courses of action I could take.

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Prescription drugs to reduce libido

Propecia or Proscar is what you are looking for to reduce your libido.

During my residency, I was a guinea pig for the dermatology residents. They wanted me to use Propecia (finasteride-pill) and Rogaine (minoxidil-topical) to see if I would regrow hair. One of the side-effects of Propecia is reduced libido because it is a DHT blocker

Finasteride is an enzyme inhibitor. It works by lowering levels of a hormone called dihydrotestosterone (DHT), which is a cause of male pattern baldness.]

Finasteride is the same drug in Proscar which is used for enlarged prostate. Proscar is 5 mg and Propecia is 1 mg of finasteride.

I did regrow hair but my libido took a hit using Propecia. This was temporary and the libido came back after cessation of the drug. I can only imagine what 5 mg would've done to me. There are very few other side effects. What you may enjoy is a small prostate throughout your life. Then you won't be having trouble urinating in the middle of the night.

Talk to your doctor because this is technically off-label use of the drug as Propecia is FDA approved for male pattern baldness and Proscar is for enlarged prostate and not to decrease libido.

Side note: you or someone else mentioned the many side effects of drugs that are listed. When we participate in studies (I am an investigator for many of them), patients ar asked to list all side-effects they experienced using the drug. Well, if someone had a headache or whatver, they will list it even though most are coincidental. If you look at the side-effects of most drugs, you'll always see allergic reaction, headache, dizziness, etc. because we all experience these at some point. Out of the thousands of study participants, someone will happen to have these problems and they will go on the list. I typically look carefully at the top 3 side-effects listed in the drug insert. The rest are usually coincidental and nearly equal to (or less than) placebo. They are listed in order of frequency.

Hope this helps!
M.D.

what are options?

Ok- so can you suggest any viable options for such a situation?
I am a 33 yr old male- I have been married for 3 years, we have been together for 12 though. For perhaps the last 8 years of our relationship we have been intimate once a week, occasionally twice a week, but this just does not satiate my drive. Mastebation does not help- anymore!! Quite frankly I am bored with masterbation- pictures and mental fantasies carry more of a depressing feeling with them now than anything. Video porn only works/helps occasionally.
My wife still very much arrouses me, nio matter what shes wearing or what time of day, she just rarely has enough energy and when she does, she wants "to be romanced"- which I do not mind at all- but I often feel inadeqate because I do not need all the "extras" to be interested in her.
Regardless- I am thinking of sex constantly throughout the day- it cause me a great deal of frustration and sadness, often to points of deep depression. I feel I could accomplish so much more if I was just able to control or stop my drive. I do not want to cheat on my wife. I even considered vasectomy- until I had a chance to talk with friends who have had the procedure and said there is no decrease in thier drive.

Not a viable option

These drugs do indeed have serious side effects and it would be ill-advised to take them in these circumstances. You two have a relationship problem in that you are not really dealing with the discrepancy in your levels of sexual desire. Your trying to modify yours in this way is dangerous and inappropriate. The two of you need to work together to find something a bit more satisfactory. At the moment it seems very unfair.

RE: not a viable option

Ridiculous comment on your part. Don't you think they have had years of conversations/etc about this. His comments suggest that they have not been able to find a compromise. The problem exists and they have not been able to find an mutually acceptable solution, thus he is searching for an alternative.

NO alternative

So far I have not found an alternative, I even visited a Naturopath still no help. There must be a safe way to reduce libido, there are hundreds of ways to increase it, there must be at least one safe way to decrease it. Someone, Anyone ....

Ways to increase libido?

Actually the best way to increase libido is to increase the emotional love and caring, and remove any pressure for a particular putcome, but expect you know that.
There are a few substances that may have some slight effect on libido in both men and women, but the results are not very reliable or very convoncing.

what then-

Ok- so can you suggest any viable options for such a situation?
I am a 33 yr old male- I have been married for 3 years, we have been together for 12 though. For perhaps the last 8 years of our relationship we have been intimate once a week, occasionally twice a week, but this just does not satiate my drive. Mastebation does not help- anymore!! Quite frankly I am bored with masterbation- pictures and mental fantasies carry more of a depressing feeling with them now than anything. Video porn only works/helps occasionally.
My wife still very much arrouses me, nio matter what shes wearing or what time of day, she just rarely has enough energy and when she does, she wants "to be romanced"- which I do not mind at all- but I often feel inadeqate because I do not need all the "extras" to be interested in her.
Regardless- I am thinking of sex constantly throughout the day- it cause me a great deal of frustration and sadness, often to points of deep depression. I feel I could accomplish so much more if I was just able to control or stop my drive. I do not want to cheat on my wife. I even considered vasectomy- until I had a chance to talk with friends who have had the procedure and said there is no decrease in thier drive.

Is she on a pill?

We had a problem even worse than you describe at about those ages. She was seemingly no longer really interested in sex, lmonths after the birth of a baby, but insisted "nothing is wrong" -- even after 2-3 weeks went by! This after a few years of active, enjoyable sex a few times a week!

I finally urged her to see her ob/gyn, and she did. Come to find out her birth control pill had screwed up her hormones and turned her off! He changed to a different one and we were soon happy again!

If you're being patient and loving, but nothing works, I'd gently but firmly press her to ask her doctor if something may be wrong.

Good luck!

No she is not on the pill

Hi I have been a bit slack since my initial post. Just to fill everyone in, I did visit a doctor regarding these drugs and I was denied access to these drugs (He suggested I see a psychologist, bloody moron!) Anticipating this would be the case I had looked up a near by naturopath and proceeded there directly from the doctors surgery, he was also unable to provide assistance and suggested counselling..
Thank you for the suggestion but no she is not on the pill, I have since told her my intentions to try reduce my libido using drugs, she couldn't understand why I would want to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and she insisted I promise not to do this (I couldn't). If I find something I will definitely try it. During this conversation she agreed to try something to boost her libido, while at the supermarket we saw WYLD for women and I bought it for her. This is where my frustration continues I bought the WYLD almost 3 weeks ago and there it sits on the counter in the kitchen, she still hasn't take one tablet.
I am at a loss, does she just not care or understand? Does she hate making love to me that much? If you enjoy something you want to do it right? I am really starting to feel resentment towards her. I think the right thing to do would be to leave her, but I do love her....

I am sure that this is not

I am sure that this is not an uncommon problem - I am having it too. Or rather I'm not having it. I would be very happy with a monogamous relationship - my wife is all I want - but our needs just don't match up. I have tried talking about it over and over but we agree to try & nothing ever happens. It has been three years since this started, when our second child was born, and we have sex about once every month or two, if that. It drives me crazy. Twice a week would be OK for me, but I am worried that I will be tempted by the numerous opportunites at work even though I know I will be risking everything.
I can't believe that you were told to go to a psychologist. Unhelpful.

Try escaping!

That does seem extraordinarily sparse! I have to assume you two have talked about it, rationally, or as rationally as two people can with this topic?

Are there chances for you two to be ALONE so she can perhaps enjoy it more? With a three-year old around, it CAN be a bit stressful, perhaps.

I also have to point out that she may indeed be truly TIRED from coping with however many little ones you have running around the house! Asmuch as you may pooh=pooh my siggestion, have you stepped back to see if you might perhaps be more helpful with the kids ro chores, so she had a breather?

Finally (and I have suggested this countless times over the years) how often do the TWO OF YOU go out to eat or, better still, escape for a weekend? Get a sitter or family member to watch the children and get away from them!

We did that, while raising ours, when we could swing the cost (and it need not be a fancy restaurant), and even went off for a weekend or two each year, in which we went to a hotel and just plain basically let the world go to hell! (No cell phones, no PC, no... whatever.. just each other.)

It worked wonders! We'd wander a nearby mall, pick up cheese, crackers, fruit, wine, whatever we felt like, and "hole up" for the weekend -- maybe with one evening dinner for two, if finances allowed (they often did not). We'd talk, make love at any hour, and just be a "couple" again for that weekend. When we came home, we felt like lovers again.

Try it -- it may help!

I wish you luck.

Sometimes, there is just no excuse

My friend, I have the exact same problem you have, and i've had the same thoughts. The advice about getting time alone and going out. It don't work. At least not with mine. The more time we have alone, she just ends up tired and wants to go to bed to sleep. When i talk to her about it, our sex improves a little but then goes down again. I'm at the point now, where i feel like we have sex because she feels it's her duty, and she don't want me to cheat. I am starting to really resent her for this. I ask for foreplay, and tell her what i like. She says, sure, i'll do it. Then forgets instantly. It never happens. I just want to turn my drive off completely. It's not worth it, and i don't want to end up hating her for it. It's a load of BS too that i have to be the one to be motivated to take some action. She won't take any to improve hers, so i'm left having to decrease mine.
I simply hate sex now, but that doesn't even decrease the drive.
Good Luck.
P.S. the Licorice causes Liver Disease. Don't do it.