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Lack of sex

Submitted by wantlove on Mon, 05/02/2007 - 22:15. Sex Problems for Men

I have been married for just 2 years. We have been a couple for 6. We have a 4 year old child and seemed to do things "backward". Child - living together - marriage. It seems in the short time we have been married, my husband has initiated sex less and less. He is 32 and I am 31. I thought this point of our lives would be full of sexual activity. But we only have sex maybe once every couple of months. And that's with me initiating it. I have tried to talk to him about it and cannot seem to get to the bottom of it. He is either too tired or gets hurt feelings as if I'm trying to make him feel bad. I feel like it's getting worse and I really feel that sex is a very big part of a relationship. It's very important to me and I don't know what to do. Short of begging for it. I'm in good shape and so is he. Is there an over the counter supplement that can help? I've heare zinc could be lacking? Or maybe it is me...

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Need more than pills

Submitted by Mature Man on Tue, 06/02/2007 - 10:01.

Sorry about the shutdown in your sex lives. Were you very active before? You don't say here.

IS he "too tired"? Is he depressed, perhaps, because of pressures at work or some other reason? I was there once, and it can really mess things up! When I was depressed, I didn't want sex -- or much of anything else! If he would only talk openly with you, maybe you could find out what the problem is. Thankfully, when I was depressed, my wife stood by me, convinced me to go see a doctor, I took my medication, and I was back to being "me" again in a couple of months or so.

Did it start when the baby came along? That can sometimes create trouble for a couple, too -- if they let it. Do you ever have a sitter so you can go out for dinner or a movie? If not, I think you need to do that. It can help.

Life -- kids, jobs, family, bills, whatever -- pulls at you! I suggest you two also try to just "go away" somewhere for a weekend. We always did when our kids were growing up. We saved our pennies and escaped once or twice ayear to a hotel in another town! We'd have a relative or good sitter with the kids, leave the phone number of the hotel, for emergencies ONLY, and drive off.

We walked around a mall nearby, bought whatever the hell we might felt like eating or drinking (snacks, cheese, wine, whatever) and then hurried back to the room and just plain "shacked up"! We knew no one around there, so we just plain spent time together talking, eating, watching TV, whatever -- and making love at ANY time of day or night! No schedules. No "must do this". Just plain R&R.

You would be amazed at how you feel when you come back! For me, it was as if that "rubber band" that stretched between us, seeming to pull us apart, had snapped back and we could smile at each other again -- and we could find time and places to make love again at home, too, because we both wanted to!

Maybe you can try that idea?

Love and sex are too fabulous to give up. We haven't, and we're celebrating more than 40 years now!!!

Good luck!

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