Home » forums » General

How to make this work (Erection goes)

Submitted by SaraPullaski on Thu, 11/01/2007 - 15:22. General

I am a 25 year old female who, about three months ago, met a wonderful man (age 27). He just moved to my city, started a new job, has new roommates, and met me very shortly after. Although we are both extremely attracted to one another, he cannot sustain an erection during sexual intercourse. He gains an erection fine, and when he has had alcohol, often manages to keep an erection throughout sex. However, whenever he is sober he cannot perform. Obviously, this has taken a toll on our relationship. He has tried to correct outside stresses by re-committing himself to his job, eating better, and starting a work out regime. However, he still struggles. We have both never encountered sexual difficulties in the past, so this is a struggle for us. Are there just times or people that one cannot be sexually intimate with? Or should we make some sort of efforts to change the situation. We are becomming more distant, and although sexual intimacy is important in relationships, I would hate to lose him over this problem if it is fixable.

» login to post comments | previous forum topic | next forum topic

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

How to make this work (Erection goes)

Submitted by Mature Man on Thu, 11/01/2007 - 21:17.

Sara:

While there may be many reasons why a man loses his erection, maybe my personal comment will help illustrate ONE possible solution:

My wife and I have been happily married for MANY years, and sex has always been a vital, wonderful part of our life together. However, at one point, in my forties, I had a similar problem. She was patient and tried to reassure me that it was okay, and also worked with me to try some different approaches to our sexual times together, and, lo and behold, it cleared up eventually!

More recently, I began again having that problem. I wanted her, I found her exciting, and yet somehow my "guy" failed me part way through -- before she could even orgasm! Needless to say, this was very upsetting for me, and I am sure for her, too, though she claimed it was "okay". I wondered if it were just my age creeping up opn me, but she argued "no way".

We again backed off from the pressure of trying to have me "perform", we took it slower, we talked it out, and she insisted I was "okay" and should just relax. She also helped us set the mood. She wore sexy outfit, I made a fire in the fireplace, we made sure of no interruptions, etc. Again, it helped, and just yesterday everything was wonderful once again.

It is possible for a man (or a woman, for that matter) to get into a "feedback loop". By that I mean that a failure ONCE can suggest to the man (or woman) that it will happen again, and, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, it sometimes DOES next time! Now you're in real trouble, convinced that it will happen every time!

That happened to me, every time, for several sessions. Thankfully, she simply loved me all the more, reassured me, snuggled more, kissed me more, and let us take our time, and yesterday we were back to the mutual joy of both cumming at the same time!

Again, I cannot promise this is what may be wrong with your guy, or that the same degree of loving care on your part will help bring him back to life, but I suggest you try it.

Failing that, medical attention could be required, of course, and I would not wish you to ignore that possibility.

Good luck to both of you!

Sign me

A Happy Mature Man

» login to post comments

Stress and anxiety related

Submitted by mpramage on Thu, 11/01/2007 - 19:28.

I would think this is anxiety related, and if you both spend time getting to know each other and having a good time together it is most likely to restore itself.

» login to post comments