My husband is not interested in sex

Relationship Problems

I have been married for 1 year. My husband and I used to have sex all the time. I became pregnant and ended up losing the baby. I am on birth control and I have clearance from my doctors to resume sex. My husband hasn't been remotely interested in resuming our sex life. In the last four weeks, we had sex once (for about 1 minute). I knew we wouldn't last long since it had been several months since our last sexual encounter. I basically had to lead my husband to the bedroom and tell him I wanted sex. He never initiates - it's always me. I am 13 years older than him and I want sex all the time. He doesn;t have the sexual appetite I do. I am 41 he is 29. Shouldn't he be at some sexual pinnacle by now???? We love each other immensely - I don't understand what happened to his sex drive. HELP!

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No sex

The first question that springs to mind is the possibility of infidelity. There are other postings on this forum which relate to this. Other than that I have no explanation for his loss of interest and you will have to ask him.
Could he feel that getting married is a trap and he is not ready for it? You mention an age gap between you, might he be worried about that and the future? What about children? Does he really want them and did the loss of the baby make him aware that deep down he doesn't? There are a number of possibilites aren't there!

i think he may be hurting so

i think he may be hurting so much about the loss of the baby that sex is a passage to another pregnancy which he is scared fails. he is in mourning and fears a repeat.

Response

I appreciate your ideas and suggestions. I gather it's time he & I have a serious sit down discussion about this. Thank you for the nudge I guess I needed.