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Chemical Castration

Submitted by Obsessive Compulsive on Thu, 30/11/2006 - 06:53. Sex Addiction | Sex Problems for Men

I am a 40 year old male. I have never had a relationship. I have an infantile penis and have always had trouble with intercourse because I cannot feel much and quickly lose my erection. During oral sex I can stay erect for hours. Every sexual experience I have had has been with prostitutes. I lost my virginity at 21 and by age 23 I was diagnosed with an obsessive compulsive need to visit prostitutes. I think it was part craving some affection and human touch and part wanting to be able to successfully have sex to be able to feel normal. I have been with over 700 prostitutes ( yes I was keeping count, not anymore, lost count some time ago) but I've only had sexual intercourse successfully about a dozen times in my life. Most visits to prostitutes consist of a massage with happy ending. I am also very obese and ugly and have to pay almost double the usual price for a prostitute to go with me, so my money does not go far. My obsession with prostitutes caused severe financial problems so I sought treatment from a Psychiatrist.

I was chemically castrated by a psychiatrist with a drug that I probably shouldn’t mention here, which worked very well to control my sexual desires but it caused severe depression and weight gain and basically a total loss of interest in life and subsequently caused 3 suicide attempts. I was chemically castrated for a total of 8 years. I have been on anti-depressants for 15 years now.

I am now addicted to internet porn and spend anywhere from 5 to 10 hours a day masturbating online. I am getting on average about 3 hours a day sleep because I cannot get away from my computer and it is starting to affect my work. I have even sneaked away from work, gone home and got online so I could masturbate during work hours because I could not last eight hours without this compulsion taking over.

All my life, I have always been laughed at and humiliated by women when they see me naked to the point that I now have developed a perversion for being humiliated and I actively seek out humiliation in web chat rooms. There is no shortage of women willing to oblige when they see me on cam, telling me my penis is the smallest they have ever seen and that it is pathetic. I get off on this now, so I am spending an enormous amount of time in chat rooms masturbating while women tell me how pathetic my penis is.

I am totally out of control and this obsession or compulsion is starting to affect every part of my life. I do not want to go on this drug again because of the side affects. There must be some other drug or procedure that with rid me of my sexual desires without lowering my testosterone levels and causing weight gain and depression again.

I was once told by a doctor that there was a procedure where your brain activity is monitored whilst you are sexually aroused and then that specific part of your brain that controls sexual arousal is destroyed by laser. If anyone knows about this procedure or about any forms of medication that will totally rid me of my sexual desires I would be very grateful to hear from you. I need help; suicide is starting to look like a good option once again.

Help Please!

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Need chemical cure

Submitted by Obsessive Compulsive on Sun, 03/12/2006 - 04:41.

Thanks for the advice people but i have spent more hours than i would like to admit sitting in front of Psychiatrists and Psychologists having them tell me that with the right partner, size dosen't matter. Crap! It may not matter to them but if i were in a relationship, it would make me feel inferiour to everyone that my hypothetical partner had been with previously, i would not be able to trust anyone because i know i would not be able to sexually satisfy them and they would probably look elsewhere for satisfaction. Yes i know there is more to sex than just intercourse but i am totally inexperienced in these matters. Prostitutes do not allow me to do much, i have never even kissed anyone before. i would totally drive myself crazy with jealousy if i were in a relationship, so i have absolutely no interets in finding someone that is desperate enough to settle for a person with an infantile penis. I have never even been on a date with someone so i would not feel comfortable having a relationship. They say; you don't miss what you have never had, and i have no problem living my life alone, i don't know any other way, it is just these damned sexual urges.

Along with major depression with self harm behavior and low self esteem, I have also been diagnosed with a disassociative disorder, a personality disorder and a social phobia with panic attacks, so any form of group therapy is definately out.Whenever i go out in public i feel like everyone knows that i am a freak and they are all looking, staring and laughing at me and this causes panic attacks. If i am annonymous on the net with my face unseen and women are laughing at me, i get aroused. I think this has developed as a sort of coping mechanism. I think because i have never recieved any positive attention from women, my psyche has twisted things around so that i get off on negative attention from women such as when they laugh at me or when i can see them on webcam with a total look of repulsion on their faces. Sort of like when a person wants desperatly to be famous but cannot achieve that fame so the go and shoot 25 people and settle for infamy.

I need a chemical or surgical cure for my sexual obsession. There has to be some way i can totally rid myself of all sexual desire. Any Endocrinologists out there that might be able to help. I am willing to be a guinea pig for any experimental treatment. I am desperate.

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Get help

Submitted by Chrissy on Thu, 30/11/2006 - 20:08.

You are ill, compulsive obsessive behaviour is an illness no matter what form it takes, you are also depressed. Find yourself a GOOD understanding doctor you are comfortable with and tell him/her EVERYTHING including the suicidal feelings. Hopefully they will be able to point you in the right direction to get the help you need.

Do not let anyone mess with your brain with lasers!!

I am sure you have many good qualities you can offer a woman and infantile penis would not put off the right person. You need to improve your self esteem, then maybe you can find a loving relationship.

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Seeking help

Submitted by mpramage on Thu, 30/11/2006 - 08:43.

It is a good idea to inform yourself as much as you can about sexual compulsivity before you decide which is a good route for you.
Search Google for as much as you can, go to Amazon and buy a couple of books, and go to Dr Thaddeus Birchard's web site to see what he has to say.
This is not an easy one to kick, and you need all the help you can get to find your own resources and strength. Mailing this site is a courageious first step.

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