I am a long-time married man whose wife is a wonderful woman who has always enjoyed sex but on her terms, and not very often. She has many self-limiting hangups (nothing oral either way, does not understand need for sexy clothes, etc.) and I crave variety. Lately, I have had trouble coming when we make love, even though she does so very quickly. I think some is due to the fact that she simply is not "exciting" enough, long enough. I enjoy some porn and usually can come just fine with that.

I really do not want an affair, but I'm very frustrated.

What to do?