My boyfriend and I have been together for just over three years and love each other very much. Earlier this year though, he had a drunken night out and didn't come home - turns out he'd slept with one of the girls he'd been out with (says he was extremely drunk, this girl jumped him and he didn't say no - also said he was so drunk he couldn't get it up and there was no actual penetration). Beside all that, I was obviously devasted. (I found out through a friend of this girl's - my boyfriend didn't tell me because he said it was a mistake and meant nothing).

After a few days I decided I wanted to give him a second chance and we stayed together. It was rough for awhile but we talked a lot and discovered there were a few things wrong in our seemingly perfect relationship. We weren't having sex much anymore - we used to do it all the time. It was maybe once a week. And I would never prioritise it - it was always if there wasn't anything else to do. Not that I didn't enjoy it, it just got that way after three years... as it does to many people, I'm sure.

He said he hadn't realised it was such an issue for him until this happened and we really talked about it. So we agreed to prioritise sex more and that he would drink less (if he can't contol himself). Anyway, months on and things are almost back to normal, if not better than before (although he still gets quite drunk fairly regularly). But the problem is, as a result of this betrayal, my trust is shattered. Most of the time I think I'm fine but when he goes out with friends (any friends - male or female) without me and drinks and comes home late (it's only ever only about midnight or 1), I can't handle it. I text him, call him and get upset when he doesn't come home right away. I realise it's probably all innocent and obviously we can't spend every minute together but I don't know how to get over this panic that it will happen again and fear that he might not come home at all. I often end up in tears and can't sleep until he's home.

Then I usually have a go at him and he always apologises for making me worry. He never yells back or gets nasty, which leaves me feeling like a psycho girlfriend. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and wants to be with me forever. Is it just a matter of time and I'll get over this distrust? Or will we have to put up with my crazy outbursts every time he goes out (which can't be healthy for either)? Should he alter his ways to make me feel more at ease? Sometimes I feel like he should make more of an effort considering he hurt me so much.