me and my partner have tried everything, i just dont think my body works properly. i can only climax when i masturbate alone with my legs clamped together - but obviously this is very difficult during sex or if he stimulates me. its now affecting our relationship as he is not bothered about having sex with me because he thinks that he cant satistfy me and so its not worth trying anymore! he thinks it should have happened by now (we have bin together for two and a half years).he has had many partners before me and has made them come, but i was a vergin when i met him. i have had to learn what i like etc. but he hasn't always made it easy for me - i feel under pressure to come. should i seek medical help, i do want to have a good sex life with him.

The more pressure you are under to orgasm, the less likely to orgasm you are.. I find it very very difficult to orgasm just through penetration and always have. My partner used to get really frustrated and felt like he was not doing things right. This puts such a strain on you both, neither of you ends up enjoying it, which kind of takes away the whole point of doing it. Its really important to remember that it is no-one's fault, and it is not really all that important, its not a race, just enjoy it. If it takes the pressure off and makes you both more relaxed, encourage her to masturbate to orgasm before penetration, then she will be satisfied and more importantly so will you - and in all likelihood if she is anything like me once the floodgates have been opened as it were.....well you catch my drift!

I have a similar problem with my gf, we have been together for over a year and as of yet she has never orgasmed. We have talked about it, and tried things but nothing seems to work. I have never had this problem before and just want my gf to feel as good as i do. She says she gets right to the point and then closes off, any ideas?
Have tried slowing down during oral and other things but nothing seems to work.

Any ideas?

Thank you for your enquiry. Firstly did you know that about 65% of women do not orgasm with penetration unless they have extra stimulation for the clitoris? This makes your experience very common indeed, though you don't hear about that on the news!
It seems as if you are taking a lot of responsibility for the pleasure and fulfilment of your sexual relationship, and it is getting a bit focussed on her orgasm. This would make it feel quite routine, as you are aiming for a particular result, rather than for giving and receiving as much pleasure as you can.
Is your partner able or willing to bring herself to orgasm as part of your lovemaking? Do you enjoy playing with sex toys? If so, you could visit www.beecourse.com. You could also try a programme of Sex Therapy This is a very nurturing thing to do together and helps you learn more about each other's sexuality and your own sexuality step by step.