I am probably the only person out there who will tell you that I think his chatting with other women online means something isn't right in your relationship, but it isn't really cheating. Talking to someone on the 'net is more fantasy than reality. If your partner looked at porn online, would you consider that to be cheating? What about if he went to a strip club and watched exotic dancers, or called a dirty-talk phone line? From my perspective, your man is afraid of commitment and of having the baby, and is expressing that by avoiding sex with you and showing interest in outside sexual fantasy.
I would do what will provide you with the most opportunities to grow together, and not try to trap him OR confront him in a negative way. Both of those alternatives close more doors than they open. What you really want to do, if you want to grow closer and not apart, is to seek to understand why he would do this, and reassure him that you love him but you're concerned about something. Perhaps you could approach him, tell him you have done something sneaky and explain that you did it because you felt concerned about his desires to express himself through sexual fantasy. Since you have both done something a little sneaky, you can approach him from the "Honey, I messed up a little" angle, and act like you are both in the same boat. Then you can try talking with him about his fears of being committed permanently through marriage and a baby. Many men relate those two commitments with a loss of their manhood and freedom--it doesn't mean they are dogs, or liars, or anything. Don't criticize him for expressing his fear in a way that upset you--try to show him that it is okay for him to express that fear to you, his confidante, and that he doesn't need to be afraid to express himself openly. Showing your understanding of him will go a lot further to helping you both develop closeness in your relationship.
And, if it turns out that he in fact has desires for real sex outside your relationship, you need to provide him an opportunity to tell you that for your own sake. Don't you want to know that information before you make the commitment of a baby and marriage with him?
A lot of people won't like what I have to say--but everyone has ambivalence about committing, and I think it is at least good that he didn't have a real, physical affair. Give him a chance to talk with you, and he may open up to you and move closer instead of further away.

I agree that what he's doing is cheating. It may not be physcially but it is emotionally. If he loves you, then he shouldn't want to be with ANYONE else, regardless. Looking at another woman is one thing, but talking or chatting to someone else the way you would to a lover, is wrong.

Have you thought about going to a pre-marriage counselor? That would be a good place to get it all out in the open where there is a "mediator", someone to keep the situation from going too far. At least then, you could come clean about what you've been up to and he would have to answer to what he's been up to and why. Regardless of how it could end up, YOU'LL KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. And you'll have done it in an environment that's safe.

First though, I would set up the meeting with him on the chat room and see if he DOES show up. At least then you would know if he was going to actually go thru with it. Too bad you couldn't hire a professional to do it for you, then you could find out exactly how far he wanted to go. Heck, he might even clue the person in on why he was doing it in the first place. That would definitly let you know what to do with the situation!

BUT...Maybe his whole reason for doing this is purely entertainment and he won't take it any farther. Or, maybe he's trying to reconnect with his sexuality to benefit YOUR relationship and just can't tell you what he's doing because he knows you would be upset? Or, maybe the stress of what is gong on in your relationship has forced him into some kind of deviant sexual hobby that he's now taken too far? Guys do handle stress alot differently than women remember.
It's still no excuse to cheat though.
Regardless, if you handle this the right way, you'll feel alot better when it's over, no matter the outcome.

If I was you i would arrange to meet up with him,to see if he is serious about meeting up with someone else. If he does turn up, contront him about what he's doing, then KICK HIS ASS!

Well, if my boyfriend, also of 2 years, was doing that on the internet, I would hope to god that he would feel guilty and tell me. But since a lot of men don't do that, I would confront him on it. Don't freak out on him or anything, because that'll make him freak out back. Almost, when you do confront him, act like you don't really mind.

I wouldn't consider it cheating, but I would consider it inappropriate. He loves you, if he wants to talk dirty to somebody over the internet, talk to him about doing it together, like the whole "sex-game" thing, in separate rooms on the computer chatting like you don't know each other. BUT, make sure he knows how you feel about it, just don't fly off the handle.

Hi Stacey
Well I must agree I also think that it is cheating. I know that the idea that he is cheating is not very pleasant, and that thinking that if he then I will use any means to find out. But as far as I am concerned this is resorting to the same methods as he. I guess it would have been better to confront him with it openly at the beginning. If he would have denied it then this would also have been an indication of what his level of honesty was.

Maybe even the way that you found out, if cheating or spying on him was involved, could also be classified as cheating. So much for Theory. Similar thing happened to me. We meant on the Internet, and after being together for 6 months and living together for 3 of these she saw that my advertisement was still on the site.

I must admit that I had not deleted, but I was not actively looking and I also saw that she too was also there. So we talked about it and I deleted mine and she said that she had not anyway had any responses for a long time. So then the dating agencies have the habit of keeping profiles of people on line for a few months even after they have stopped their account or at least till the end of the period for which they have paid.

Well then a Month later she saw my advert, and after an argument she sent me a nasty letter saying how dare you accusing me of still being active, which was not the case. I got very mad and asked where the trust was and why was she looking anyway. Anyway I then looked as a guest on the site and saw that she was still active, and opened another account without a picture and false information, with the intent of trying what you tried, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Well that’s it, it’s all not so easy, and honesty even if your stomach and heart are at your toes is the best policy.

Yes it is cheating.
Unfortunately you have done something really dishonest too, and the quicker you bring the whole thing out in the open the better.