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Inability to achieve erection is destroying my life (22 years old)

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Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 05/07/2005 - 06:27. Sex Problems for Men

When I was in high school (to 19 years of age), erection was extremely easy to achieve. Something as simple as a girl strokin her finger across my arm made me very erect.
Towards the end of high school, I started smoking a lot of marijuana. Then, as college started, my problems started coming to surface. In my first year, a gorgeous girl stayed the night and wanted to have sex with me, but I didnt feel my penis getting erect during kissing, so I didnt go any further. This happened for several other girls in the following 3 years. I try to remain optimistic, but I slowly feel I will Never be able to have a sexual satisfying relationship with a girl. When the thought comes to my mind, I feel very depressed.
I started cybering online, and found I was able to achieve erections from this, and have stopped this activity about 6 months ago (I am 22 right now) Even if I happen to try that randomly nowadays, I can barely achieve an erection, a halferection at most. Anyways, I have quit cybering, and I am stopping smoking marijuana. I have also drank a lot in college, but no more than your average party goer, and nowhere near the "alcoholic" level.
Somebody please help me, I feel my life and the best days of my life passing me by, with me just watching from the outside. I hope there's somebody out there who understands what I am going through. Please help.

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probably

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 09/07/2005 - 03:32.

the marijuana causes erection problems, i have not had experience with this as i am a woman but i had a boyfriend who did. alcohol will also interfere. so you start wondering "why can't i get it up," you think you can't get an erection, and so psychologically you are unable to. Stay off marijuana and alcohol, eat healthy, and exercise would probably help. Try and get involved in things that boost your ego. And if you can get your hands on a Tantra book that might help. It helps a lot of people with sexual problems like that and as an added bonus you will learn a lot of skills that will make you INCREDIBLE in bed. (and just knowing this will probably make you able to get erections like crazy) and there is NOTHING wrong with you. it happens to a LOT of guys. Hope that helps, and good luck!

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Hey 22... Pay close attention

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 02/08/2005 - 23:18.

Hey 22... Pay close attention to this. I am 31 years old now and my stuff is working great now, but when I was your age I had the same problem except that I didn't smoke weed or drank excessively. From what I can see, you are suffering from something called Performance Anxiety. When you were kissing that girl and you saw that your mini-me didn't come up, you became anxious. When anybody becomes anxious, the brain releases some chemicals called catecholamines. These chemicals are the ones that make you run or fight if you are extreme danger, in order to save your life. These chemicals also block the flow of blood to minor members of the body (the penis is one of them) and concentrate the flow of blood to major organs like the heart, skeletal muscle and lungs. That's why you will notice that when you try to stimulate it with your hands or with her hand, the thing won't go nowhere. There's no blood going to your penis at that moment. All this might sound like technical bullshit, but it is clinically proved. So, what you need to do is relax... I know it's not as easy as saying it.. but you need to believe in yourself. What you need to do (if you got a girl) is seat back and relax. You really need a girl that understands what's going on so that she can help you out with the plan. Don't be scared or embarassed to tell her what's going on. Do not try to have penetration for at least two or three weeks. Remember that the harder you try... the softer the thing gets. So take it real easy. Just hug her and kiss her. Have interesting conversations with her. Later on, Lay on the bed with her with no clothes, but don't try penetrating. Kissing and Hugging. If you get an erection before the two weeks, ignore that erection. Keep the kissing and hugging game. It's gonna come a point where you are going to feel very confinent and good to go and the rest is history. It only takes one time to get out this vicious cycle. I am a civil Engineer, which is kind of far from a therapist, but this is what I did to get out of it(and it was advise from a Doctor). Good luck 22.

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