First I love my hubby.
We have had no prior sexual partners.
I can not explain the indescribable nervousness and anxiety which builds and builds during penile or digital direct stimulation, to the point where I can not take it anymore. It never reaches a climax or release, no matter how long we go at it. He can go at it for at most five minutes using his penis, but even if he uses only his hands - which after five minutes each tire, and then his arms, which then tire, or his mouth, which also tires after five minutes, I only get extremely nervous to the point where I feel like I am going to cry from it. It makes me so unhappy. I have never ever felt pleasure from intercourse, and do it only as often as I must to keep him somewhat happy, although he is very unhappy that he can not make me happy.
I enjoy the feeling of closeness that sex brings, our bodies close to each other, but other than that, sex is a real turnoff, and I am thankful for each orgasm that he gets in 60 seconds or less, and I dread each sex, fearing that this time he will say, "Now let's try lettng you enjoy sex."
He has stopped trying to give me an orgasm, because he knows that I will subconsciously punish him by refusing his sexual advances more often.